Eddie

Never thought it was possible

To love another child                                                                                               Eddie 2 years old

But there you were

Perfect round head

Big blue eyes

And I fell

Head over heels

Opening my heart

To my boy

My son

My little man

My Eddie

Time passed quickly

And in the blink of an eye

You were no longer my child

But instead a husband

And a loving father

But in my mind you remain

A blond haired bundle of energy

A pint sized whirlwind

With a mischievous grin

Who stole hugs and kisses

And a young Mother’s heart

I will love you always

As mother’s do

Always my boy

My sweet son

My grown up man

My Eddie

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY SON!!!

My Yin Yang

yinyangAlmost daily I am made aware that I am an “older” woman.  Yet, there are moments when I feel young.

 

It’s my Yin Yang.

It’s the pain I feel when rising in the morning.

It’s the beauty of a new day.

It’s the snap, crackle, pop of my joints.

It’s skipping when I walk.

It’s over hearing a young person’s conversation.

It’s re-living a moment in time.

It’s underwear older than my co-workers.

It’s keeping up with my co-workers.

It’s my grandson wanting me to do flips in the grass.

It’s doing flips in the grass.

It’s bringing in the AARP envelope.

It’s being called young lady.

It’s giggles when I rock out to an oldies tune.

It’s being in that moment.

It’s noticing the age spots on my hands.

It’s calling them sun spots.

It’s being too tired to fix dinner.

It’s PB & J and chocolate milk.

It’s sitting on cement to watch fireworks.

It’s watching fireworks.

It’s the pain of riding a bike.

It’s the joy of riding a bike!!

It’s not being able to sleep-in.

It’s Saturday morning cartoons.

It’s 40 years since high school.

It’s seeing old high school friends.

It’s my son saying, “Hey, old lady!”

It’s my boyfriend calling me beautiful.

It’s watching young lovers kiss.

It’s a long sweet kiss with my man.

It’s being too old to act this way.

It’s laughing out loud at life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bring It On Summer!

I’ve got some things coming this summer that fill me with anticipation.  One thing I am looking forward to I can’t talk about for fear of jinxing it.  Yes, I realize that is irrational.  Still…

Last night I talked to my niece Michele for a while.  We’re close.  If we were much closer — she’d be my child.  We’ve always had a special connection.  I used to call her Smallfry.  Still do.  I am the only one who can get away with that.  Anyway, Jim and I will be headed macgyverher way for the July 4th holiday.  Can’t wait!  I really need the get-away.  She and my older sister live right outside of New Orleans so, it’s always fun to go there.  Besides, I love seeing them.  They share my especially quirky sense of humor…  —————>

Next on the agenda is a dinner that my friend Karen and I have set up for July 25th.  We did our 40 year high school class reunion last year and I am happy to say it was a roaring success.  We expanded it from just our class and included a 10 year span.  Anyway, we have had so many express the desire to get back together that we decided to set up a very casual evening.  “Dinner With Old Friends” is what we call it.  Very appropriate, yes? We’ll meet at a restaurant and have dinner and then hang out until the restaurant closes catching up with each other.  We weren’t sure what kind of response we’d get but, I already had to change the room to something bigger!  best-mirrorI get such a charge out of seeing old friends.  Karen and I do a lot of comparing notes when it’s all over. There’s always some news to share.  We’re amateur sleuths. HA!

To round out the summer I anticipate lazy summer days full of cook-outs, fresh garden tomatoes, front porch firefly watching and long leisurely rides in our Corvette with the top down. Life is good.

I love you SUMMER!

I Had The Power All Along…

god-keeps-his-promisesI’ve always been a believer in God, even in times when I let my personal life get in the way of my worship life.  I had my own believer’s code that I lived by but, I did not attend church regularly.  The last several years have seen a spiritual growth in me.  I am closer to God.  I am still so far from worthy but, so thankful for his unconditional love.

Jim and I went to early church at our home church today and then on a spontaneous whim, decided to attend another church whose service we could just make if we hurried.  I like contemporary Christian music and they are big on that there.  We have talked about going many times before but, why today?

We arrived at the new church and made our way in.  People were friendly and welcoming but, for some reason I felt uncomfortable.  I wondered why I was there.  But, I was there because God wanted me there.  The service started with praise and worship music.  It was lively and the group seemed sincere but, I wasn’t quite feeling it.  But, when it was over, I listened to a sermon where I received a message that opened my eyes.  How often do we hear God speak to us and yet we doubt or fear or think we know best?  I was slapped in the face with the knowledge that I have been standing in my own way.  I have been petrified to believe I could have what he has promised.  I feared it wasn’t possible.  I saw obstacles in my way and no way to get around them.  I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, I refused to see that God will provide a way.  I am now painfully aware that I have been waiting for years for something that had been available all along.  How foolish not to trust God.

I feel like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.you always had the power

Thursday Rant

cat selfie2My top FIVE posts I wish people would stop making on Facebook:

#1  Stop with the cryptic half statements meant to provoke and leave you wondering WTF?

Has someone close to you just died?  Did your spouse dump you like yesterday’s garbage?  Did you contract some incurable disease, wreck your car, run over your own cat, lose your job, burn down your house, find out you’re pregnant by your best old ex-friend’s former husband?  What gives?  Either air that dirty laundry properly or shut the heck up!

#2  Stop attempting to brain-wash me with your particular political view.

It ain’t gonna happen by something you post on Facebook.  I have a REAL opinion and conviction about our government and our personal freedom from it.cat selfie

#3  Stop testing me with “If you love Jesus like and share this.”

I can have a deep meaningful relationship with my God without passing any kind of test you are putting out there.  That is NOT a testimony.

#4  Stop sharing the endless videos of baby animals, grandmas dancing, redneck screw-ups, or some squeaky kid singing.

If it ain’t slap your mama funny — I just ain’t interested.

#5  Stop pasting your face for the ONE MILLIONTH time to my timeline.

I only want to see photos of my family and friends that have some kind of meaning.  I’m old but, I ain’t forgotten what you look like.

cat selfie3Why not just give up on Facebook?  Truth is, I love being able to keep up with family and friends.  Facebook has made it possible to reconnect with many old friends.  For that I am grateful.  I do wish though, some had just the tiniest amount of self-control…

A Mother’s Letter

rose

I want you to call me

Not because you need something

But simply because you want to hear my voice

My voice will be silent one day

I want you to know how much I love you

How much every single thing that happens in your life

Affects me deeper than you could ever grasp

I feel every hurt and pain and frustration

But, just as I feel your disappointment

I also feel your joy

And, that joy radiates in me

And warms my heart and makes me smile

I want you to know how proud I am

That this simple woman gave to the world

This gift of life that is you

Be all your mother sees in you

Make your mark, stake your claim

Give to those you love

But more importantly to those you don’t

Take a stand and make a difference

Share with me the gift of your time

So I may leave here knowing

A part of me will remain in your heart

And your mind and in sweet memories….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time Is a Slippery Fellow…

timeIt’s funny how this being old thing sneaks up on you.  It almost shocks me when I realize that I am 59 years old.  What the heck?  I don’t feel particularly old.  Well, sometimes my body lets me know that I’m old but, mentally it’s hard to comprehend how much time has passed.  I can see why people have always looked for some way to stay young.  How marvelous it would be to be able to stop the clock. Or reverse that clock and do all those things you used to dream of but, somehow let fall by the wayside.  Oh, to be able to make different choices and still be young enough to enjoy those new choices!

But, this is it folks.  What’s sad about it is, I could say all this to a young person and they’d look at me wide-eyed and wondering and totally clueless.  Sadly, this is a lesson learned late in life.  Ha!  One of life’s unpleasant jokes.  There is NOT always a tomorrow.  There’s no later to catch.  There’s no by and by.  There’s no time left after as soon as I’m done with this, or as soon as I’ve raised my kids, or paid this off, or whatever it is in the future we think will be the turning point.  Why do we put things off? Why? Because we’re young and think we have all the time in the world. Time is a slippery fellow. And this life is on a slippery slope…