I love this time of year. For weeks now everything has been coming to life. Beautifully green grass and new leaves in the trees. Everything looks so crisp. There has been cool evenings and warm days. Spring flowers promise a new beginning.
Jim and I have been busy. This is our first Spring in our new home. We have been delighted to discover all kinds of bulbs and flowering plants we didn’t even know existed. We have a small garden and our veggies are looking great. I even planted some cherry tomatoes on the side of the house and they are doing well also.
I’ve put coleus and flower seeds around my newly placed bird bath. I made some little bird feeders out of cups and saucers. They turned out so cute and the birds seem to love it!
This is what the Touch Me Nots will look like when they bloom.
I planted Touch Me Nots. That’s what my mom called them. When I was a child she had a flower bed on the side of the house full of them. They re-seed themselves each year. I think officially they are called Balsam but, I like the name Mom called them best. They have these little seed pods shaped like footballs that I used to squeeze to pop as a kid. It was so cool how the seeds popped out everywhere. Mom would get after me about it because I would pop even the ones that weren’t ripe yet. Sorry Mom…
Anyway, I also planted some Shasta daisy seeds in one the side flower beds. I dug out a small flower bed around my mailbox out front and planted some flowers there also. I am really looking forward to later this summer when they are all fully grown and blooming! This is so much fun. Jim and I love our home and our yard. We love “our” space.
Until later — Happy Spring all!
It has taken me several days to write this. Maybe it’s Mother’s Day fast approaching but, it seemed so real it was painful.
I dreamed about my mom last night. She has been gone over four years now. She looked the same. Beautiful. She smiled and cried when she saw me. She told me how much she has missed me & how much she loves me. We hugged and I held her close and breathed her in. I said I love you and apologized for not calling. I explained that I had been busy. She nodded as if to say she understood. I felt guilty because it felt like a lie. I used to avoid calling my mother even when I knew I should. Mom was a hard woman. She loved intensely but, found fault just as intensely. Still, she was my staunchest supporter. Always there for me. Always loving me. Always forgiving me.
If the impossible was possible and I could have just one more afternoon with her, how I’d cherish every second! I’d share all about my life. I’d tell her about Jim and how happy he makes me. I’d tell her about my kids and grandkids. I’d hold her hand and make up for lost time. I’d bring her pink roses and lemon filled donuts from Krispy Kreme…
In a parallel world
who would I be?
Would I be a better
version of me?
Would I be healthy,
wealthy, and wise?
Would I see the world
through an artist’s eyes?
Would I be a nurse
as Mom said to do?
Or a radio DJ
because I wanted to?
Would I be an activist
fighting for a cause?
Or a woman of faith
forgiven of flaws?
Would I be an astronaut
soaring through space?
Or a genius who’s mind
saved the whole human race?
What fun it would be
to look thru that door
And peep at myself
to see if I’m more…
I’ve heard it said that life can be messy. I’ve found it an understatement.
As humans we can complicate the simplest of things. We twist and contort and turn every aspect of our lives upside down. It can be a confusing, mind-blowing mess. Our actions can be unexpected and hurtful. We leave others with mouths agape. We shock. We cause tears. We initiate rage.
But, messy can be good. Messy can open up new doors. Messy can mean a new life. Messy can be exciting and inspiring. Messy can mean a happiness that if we stopped to worry about the mess, we would have never found.
So, go with it my friends! Slosh through the messy! Embrace the messy! Enjoy your messy non-boring life!
I had a delightful birthday yesterday. My friends at work brought me a cake and flowers and cards and cookies and gifts. There were lots of Happy Birthday’s shouted my way. Sure made me feel good. OH! And the Facebook posts were SO very nice! It’s nice to know you cross that many people’s minds, if only for a minute or two, and that they would take the time to wish you well. My sweetie gave me the sewing machine I’d been wanting and bought take-out for dinner. I heard from both of my children too. I felt very loved and appreciated. I felt valued. Sure made me smile. But, it also got me thinking. Do we NEED outside validation to feel worth? Shouldn’t we just KNOW we are valuable? Do we need another human patting us on the back and singing the birthday song to make us feel like we are justified to keep breathing?
The answer is YES. We need to know we are loved and cared about and valued. I don’t often feel I matter much in the scale of things. But, my friends and loved ones celebrated with me the date of my birth. They let me know they are glad I am here.
I’m glad I’m here too…
So, it’s my birthday. Yep, I’m the birthday girl. Birthdays come way too fast these days. I am OLD.
OLD means a reality check every morning in your mirror. OLD means slower movements, slower reactions, slower recoveries. It means pain that is not the result of anything you’ve done but, just because. OLD means you step more gingerly. You stop to consider consequences. You look before you leap. You stop dancing like a wild child. OLD means you are getting so far over the hill –pretty soon no one will see you.
But, OLD also means wisdom.
OLD means a collection of life experiences only you possess. It is knowledge. It is the realization that every waking moment counts. And, that every new day is a blessing. You become acutely aware that you will not live forever. And with that, you know material things mean nothing, but the love of those precious to you means everything. It gives your life meaning. It gives you purpose. It helps you endure. All the prayers you utter include a thankfulness for all you have and all you have to look forward to.
So, even though OLD can seriously suck, I’m actually thankful to be OLD. I still have so much life to live here. So much love to give and receive. And beyond that, God has promised a new life. When I have drawn my last breath here on this green earth, I see me dancing like a wild child again — on a heavenly disco floor…